‘What? You are'nt thinking of attending the lecture! Just bunk and come for the movie with us!'
‘Here, just have one more, it won’t kill you!'
‘I’m running late again, can we postpone our meeting..'
‘Just give me one more chance, puleeeeez!'
‘I’m just going around the corner, don’t really need a helmet for such a short distance!'
Wisdom is knowing what to say no to, and how to say no. Sometimes a clear cut no is what is needed, but sometimes a gentler ‘Can I think about it and get back to you’ is what works better. At times, not saying anything does the trick. Sometimes its not an absolute no, but a ‘later', or a ‘I'm not sure right now', or even a ‘I'm not ready for it'. Sometimes there is no need to say no, but just to say YES to something else!
There are many ways to communicate, but what is important is that internally I should be 100% clear about what I need to say no to.
Here is a list of 5 things that help me decide what to say no to:
- When an earlier COMMITMENT exists, and a new proposal seems more convenient or tempting.
- When saying yes tantamounts to pampering someones INSINCERITY or casualness, even my own.
- When the only reason I'm saying yes because I don’t want create DISAPPOINTMENT in the other person.
- When saying yes will create a DISTRACTION for me from progressing towards my goal.
- When saying yes is an act of ESCAPE from a situation that I actually need to face up to.
For me personally, the toughest one is reason no 3.
What about you, my dear friend, have you mastered the art of saying no? Which of the five reasons is your personal challenge? Would love to hear from you!