We are at a big family re-union and meeting up with cousins and uncles and aunty’s from all around the world. Some of them are close to me and some who I’ve never even met.

I miss people. I miss my grandmothers presence in my life. I miss hanging out my friends from my college dorm. I miss my close friend who now lives in another country. I miss family after a few days of travelling. I miss my friends.

But does it mean that I’m miserable because they are not here with me now? Does it mean that their absence is taking away my peace of mind? I realised that there must be a few different levels of missing someone.

Let me make an attempt:

1 - I think about the times we had and it puts a smile on my face. It’ll be fun to get together again. Let’s see when it’s possible.

2 - I’d love to create some new experiences together. There is some pain. It will happen someday and I enjoy thinking and planning for it. I enjoy connecting with you, whenever possible.

3 - I want us to be together, but that’s not possible immediately. I’ll have to wait a while. But it hurts a bit. I wonder how you are and what you are doing. I enjoy connecting with you often.

4 - The distance seems unending and unbearable. I’m constantly wondering what you are doing, and whether you are also missing me. I often go out of my way to try and connect, sometimes at the cost of what I’m doing currently.

5 - I think about being together a lot of the time and it disturbs my peace. I will stop everything I’m doing at every opportunity to connect with you.

6 - I can’t do anything in the present moment. Thoughts of you are on my mind all the time. I’m almost incapacitated.

What do you think? Which levels have you experienced? Are you experiencing any of these now? Which level do you feel are healthy and which ones do you think can be harmful?

Would love to hear your thoughts!