"Papaaaa! He took my balloon away" cried my daughter Meisha. Our children play together a lot. My sister’s kids are the same age as our two. The foursome of them are constantly running up and down between the two homes. It is a blessing that our apartments are just above and below each other's. The kids have a blast.
But often enough, there is wailing and flowing tears. Most often is it about "he took my toy", "she ate my chocolate", "or he sat in my place". The concept of ownership gets ingrained in us at quite an early age. We don’t like it when someone takes what we see as ours. It hurts when someone enjoys what we have been saving for ourselves. And truly, sometimes it is unfair. I saved the chocolate wafer from my cake to have as the last bite, and my younger sister picks it of my plate, how annoying is that!
But, as we grow up, and this sense of ownership extends into the relationships in our life, it begins to get really tricky.
I introduced my old college buddy to my sister. The next thing I know is that they have both gone out for the coffee together. Ouch! That pinched.I introduced an old batch mate to my friend. And before I know it, they have planned a trek together.I introduced a friend to my work colleague, and now they are exchanging business connections.I introduced two friends, and now my friend reaches out to him when he needs advice.
People don’t belong to anyone.
In fact, we don’t even belong to ourselves.
We all belong to a higher purpose.
From the moment we understand that, we live our lives very differently.
I consciously choose to connect people, with no insecurity of what if they become closer to each other than to me.
I consciously choose to help people and pour my love on them, with no thought of what if they don't reciprocate.
When I need something, I’m learning to ask.
If it comes that great, and if not, that's great too.I’ll ask someone else, or I’ll ask again another time, and in a different way.
I give, because I want to give. And when I don't give, I don't want to give. Simple. And, I'm liking simple.
I wrote all this a couple of years ago. I think I had forgotten some of it. The feeling of possessiveness easily creeps in when we get close to people. We want to laugh only with us. We want them to share their dreams and fears only with us. We want them to seek comfort only in us.
Only because of our own need to feel needed.
But this ego serves no purpose.
People don't belong to anyone. We all belong to the universe.
Give it some thought.
Which are the relationships where you feel that tinge of jealousy or possessiveness.
Ask yourself what the little little things that the other person does (with other people) that make you feel that pinch of discomfort.
Ask yourself which place are you unknowingly holding them too tight and not allowing them to fly free.
Ask yourself which games are you playing in order to hold on to your ownership of them.
These will be tough questions to face. But they will unlock a journey within. A journey of freedom.
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