Without acceptance there is no peace. Without peace inside there is no clarity. Without clarity no real solutions are possible. Without real solutions there are only patch-ups. I am only taking sedatives. I am not really healing the wound. I am not really changing anything at the core. And obviously there is a wound, else this question of accepting reality wouldn’t arise at all. We would just be, and live, and not need to accept anything.
I am wounded. Life wounds us. We are all wounded.
Why can’t she understand me?
Why don’t people think about how others will feel?
Why am I not able to make them laugh?
Why has this article not gone viral?
Why am I still struggling?
Will I be successful and happy?
I need to heal. I need to accept.
Here are some ways that work for me from time to time.
1 Sit and stare. Looking outside my window, at whatever is in front me, the open sky, green leaves, brown mud, whatever. And really look. Seeing the colours, shapes, textures, and movement. This is reality. I watch it. I soak into it, and let it soak into me.
2 Close my eyes and feel. I feel myself. I feel my breath. I feel my body. I feel my internal organs. I feel all the physics and biology that makes me. This is real stuff. Feel it fully.
3 Listening to my thoughts. I sometimes write them down, which is what these blogs are. I see where they are coming from, what they are saying, and what words they are using. It’s best when I don’t try to find out whether they are right or wrong. They are real. I attempt to just watch them.
4 Watching my heart. I feel my emotions. I watch what is happening to it. Is it tight? Is it fluffy? Is it light? Is it flowy? It’s interesting. I find that my heart has different states of being. I try to watch it. My heart and my emotions are real.
5 Watching my people. This is the toughest. Because watching them creates reactions and responses in me. What are they feeling? What are they thinking? What is happening to them? This is their reality. It may be different from mine, but it is theirs. It’s best if I can just watch it without resisting it or trying to change it. It is not easy.
Can’t say I’m any expert at any of these, but I’ve tried them from time to time. Try them for yourself and see what happens for you.
Accepting reality is the first and only step required. Everything else takes place on its own. The only thing you and I need to ‘do’ is not delude ourselves with our own lies.
In fact, maybe even that is not needed to be ‘done’. Maybe there is nothing to accept. Maybe I just need to accept that I am unable to accept reality yet. Maybe I just need to stop trying. The seed doesn’t need to do anything. Some other forces pushe it into the ground, and yet some other forces dampen it. It’s the seed’s nature to sprout. Sprouting happens. The seed doesn’t have to do anything. Why do you and I need to do anything?
If you want more on this, listen to my 3 minute podcast:
Why is acceptance important, see a short video here: