Letter No 69 - What do you want?

Published by Aditya Jhunjhunwala,

What you don’t want is equally important as what you want.

I remember on a road trip with our family, the kids were in my car and we took a food stop to fill ourselves up before we went further ahead in our journey. And so we stopped at McDonald’s. My nephew Addu, however refused to eat at McDonald’s and said that he instead wanted to have paratha. It wasn’t an unreasonable demand. We had packed parathas too, but it was in the car ahead of ours with my mom which was 45mins away.

We told him to settle with a burger instead of waiting for 45mins but he insisted that he doesn’t mind waiting even for an hour for his parathas.

He’s not a rebel, he just knew what he wanted and what he didn’t.

So often when someone asks us "what is it that you want", we fall short of words. We don’t know what to say, it creates pressure to say exactly what you want. What if what you want, you get? And later on your regret that you missed out on saying another thing that you wanted?

Here’s a hack, to thinking clearly about what you want.

"Start with what you don’t want."

Stuck on decision, whether you want to go ahead with this person in your relationship? Make a list of non-negotiables.

Stuck on decision, whether you want to pursue a certain career? Make a list of what you don’t want in your career trajectory.

And when even this doesn’t help, and someone asks you "what do you want", whether it’s your friend, partner or your inner voice - just smile. And tell them what do you want right now, right here.

And every now and then, do go ahead and ask someone "what do you want?". Also ask them "what is it that you don’t want?". And when they answer, instead of judging, giving solutions or reacting immediately, just ask again "what else?". Encourage them to share more. Because sometimes the pressure is too real when someone is sharing what they want and what they don’t. And sometimes they don’t even know if that will stand true in the coming times. Sometimes it’s just what they share in the present.

Sometimes it’s just about what one wants in the present.

Here’s What I want now and in the time to come:
  • I WANT TO CONNECT WITH ENTERPRISING PEOPLE ACROSS THE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF INDIA
  • I WANT TO WORK CLOSELY WITH A TEAM OF COMMITTED, SMART, FEARLESS PEOPLE ON A PROJECT THAT CREATES MASSIVE WEALTH AND IMPACT
  • I WANT TO BOND DEEPLY WITH MY LOVED ONES ON PROJECTS, HOBBIES AND FUN
  • I WANT TO SHARE MY CREATIVITY WITH WHOEVER CARES
  • I WANT TO GROW FEARLESS AND PEACEFUL

What I want now:
  • I WANT TO DO A GREAT JOB WITH A FEW PROJECTS WE ARE WORKING ON
  • I WANT TO REINVENT ENTERPRISE INDIA FELLOWSHIP AND MAKE IT EVEN MORE RELEVANT
  • I WANT TO SUPPORT OUR TEAM TO ULEASH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL

(not in that order, but however it comes)
I know all this cannot be done in a day for sure, but this is my feeling right now and I want to hold on to this. To what I want right now.

If you're reading this, I'd love to know what do you want right now? It could be as simple as "I want to eat rasgulla"
Let me know!