Letter No 79 - Full sleeves or folded?

Style me rehne ka, but not in just one style...

All of us have such different styles. I like my sleeves folded it makes me feel that I’m getting into action, I started wearing skinny jeans 7 years back when I felt fit, checkered shirts have been my fav all these years because they give a mechanic look (no wonder I love engineering and playing around with tools), Chinese collared shirts are my current fav and they make me feel balanced as a good mix of ethnic and formal.

My students from a decade back, they see me now in a different style - long hair, beard, and a little more chilled out than before :-)

There are some occasions when people flaunt their unique dressing style and get the eyeballs too - at the Oscars, Grammys, Filmfares and even Comicons.

My dressing style has evolved over time and so has my working and style of being. And our styles emerge from the way we feel. Always.


All of us had phases in our life, some might be too distinct (I had a blue hair phase) and some might be internal to you or a little change you made in your style for a period of time but it wasn’t visible distinctively (I wouldn’t let anyone enter a workshop if they were even 1 minute late)…now I let them be.

Style is not eternal, it’s ever evolving. Because aren’t we also evolving every single day? And these styles have been a part of your journey, a part of your story. No matter how silly, embarrassing or stupid it feels now reflecting back.

The truth is, the way we work with people, the way we live our life and the way we interact are also our individual styles.

As adults, it’s our responsibility to identify our style, because just like our clothing we need to understand in different aspects of our lives - what suits us, what doesn’t and that’s how we make better choices.


Before I share how can you identify your style, I want you to accept that you are a leader and hence it’s your responsibility to understand your style. All of us are in leading roles of our own movie - you might be leading a home, leading a young team of interns, leading at a higher position at an organisation, leading at cleaning the streets when others make a mess, leading at being the one who always chooses where to eat and plans to make with friends…hold on to the word leading and accept and embrace it.

You might not be a "leader" with a follower but you are displaying leadership definitely in some part of your life. We all do.

Leadership is more than a position; it’s a mindset and behaviour.


Here are 4 leadership styles a friend recently shared with me from a leadership program she attended.
  • Master
  • Supporter
  • Challenger
  • Counsellor
A master is someone who is an expert at something and would rather take things in their own hands and apply their expertise. It’s a little difficult for them to exit out of situations and let someone else take over because they have confidence that this job they know the best.

A supporter is someone who will work with others to support in their learning journey and share their expertise with them to also pick it up. They got others back as a support wherever people need them.

A challenger is someone who loves to throw challenges at others and gets fuelled by being challenged themselves. They get excited by goals, metrics and are inspired and love to work with people who like challenges.

A counsellor is someone who understands people before work. They also want to get the work done but they support and counsel people to the extent that sometimes deadlines get missed but the human part never gets missed.

All of us have a mix of these styles. In certain situations we exercise one style more than the other. And none of these styles are bad - they all have a space.


Think about your own style - the way you lead things and reflect which one is your style, which one comes naturally to you, which one is your most favourable and which one do you favour the least?

Once you’ve done that, sit with it.
Observe yourself the next few days
Which one are you really practicing?
Ask people around you about what they feel about your style.

And sometimes, rather most of the time remember and accept that even though you are leading others might not even know you are. And the best leaders are often the ones in the background.

Here’s an ad that beautifully shows the same :)


Hope you lead always with love and light, just like the stars who lead our way in times of darkness.

In fratitude (friendship + gratitude)