Letter No 92 - What's MY thing?


Sometimes there's such a thing as - too much of a good thing. Too much sugar in your tea. Someone being too helpful. Everything being too neat and in their place (haha - ok maybe for some there's not such that as that)

In today's world these words - find your passion, just be yourself, focus on your strength - can sometimes (actually more often than not) be too much of a good thing. Look, it's a good thing for sure, but what if I just don't know what's my thing? Then it can feel like a huge burden. It can feel like a vacuum, or like something is wrong with me. It gets worse if you have some people who seem to know exactly what is their thing and seem fully focussed!

The amount of energy we spend then on desperately finding our 'thing' drains us out. Here's what is does to us:
  • makes us feel not good enough
  • makes us not be in the present
  • makes us commitment phobic
  • makes us constantly dissatisfied

It's annoying.


Is it necessary to have one's thing?

What's the deadline by when it should happen?

What should I do if I haven't found it?

Questions like these confound us.


So, in this letter I'm not going to give you 5 tips to find your Ikigai. There's enough material on it out there already.

I want to tell you - it's okay. Take a chill pill.

You have to desperately hunt for it. Time is not running out. You are not losing the race.

Steve Jobs said in his famous speech - he had no idea what he wanted to do. He took random courses in college. He was not focussed on technology, or design or business. He went backpacking in India. He did all sorts of things.

It's ok.


Here's what I believe is even more important than 'finding your thing' - and it's easy, because don't have to take too many decisions. Make whatever is in front of you, your thing, for now. Give whatever you already have on your hands your full attention and love. Decide that what you have right now, is your thing, until you decide to have another thing.

Maybe it's your studies.
Maybe it's something your are creating.
Maybe it's you just chilling.
Maybe it's a project you are working on.
Maybe it's an internship you are doing.

Maybe you are not evening enjoying it that much.

But you know what? We need what we give our attention to. Just think about it, when you give your full attention and presence to something - it feels peaceful. Even if you are not making progress or having achievements - it's okay. Decide to enjoy where you are at and what you are doing. Decide to learn from it. Decide to give it your best self.


You have only two choices - give it your attention, or be distracted.

If you give it your attention, you'll feel peaceful.

If you be distracted, you'll feel restless.

As simple as that.


The famous psychology Mihali Csikszentmihályi (pronounced chick-sent-mihali) introduced the concept of flow - when you are so into something, that you lose a sense of time and place. That happens when you give your full attention, and it is in alignment with your natural abilities and interests.

Csikszentmihályi lays out three conditions for the state of flow:
  1. Goals are clear
  2. Feedback is immediate
  3. A balance exists between opportunity and ability

Of these three, we can almost always ensure atleast 2.5!

Whatever you have in front of you, set some simple short term goals.
Make sure that you are getting feedback from others involved.
Opportunity is always there in whatever we do!

The remaining 0.5 of ability - leave it. It will happen. If not in this project, then in the next.


Just stay hungry and foolish - like Jobs says.

Hungry means give your full attention to whatever you are on. Grab opportunities.

Foolish means don't let your ego get in the way if others are doing better or more. Don't resist or avoid feedback. Just keep learning and stay at it, either until the job is done, or you decide to let go, and move on.

Haha, that's my simple definition of hungry and foolish. It's an irony, because staying hungry and foolish seems quite wise🙂


If you stay hungry and keep grabbing opportunities, the chances are higher that you will eventually find your 'thing', than if you don't!

Simple. And may as well give your best and enjoy whatever's at hand.

Thats a hungry person for me, and if you are hungry... then let's connect🙂