Source or Sink: What kind of friend are you?

It’s true. Some people drain me, and some people charge me. It’s almost like some people are sources and some are sinks of energy. It’s just like we engineering students learn in applied thermo-dynamics. Sorry, I couldn't help but throw in that little bit of mumbo jumbo. But I do have a point I wish to make. Some people will utter the mumbo jumbo in a fun way, make you laugh along with them. At the end of it you’ve had fun, learnt something new, and feeling good about yourself. Others, on the other hand, will say the same mumbo jumbo in a tone that will make you doubt you ever even went to school. Without saying so directly, they will make you question whether your own existence has any purpose. You will end up comparing yourself, feeling good for nothing, and restless to fill up the vacuum that just built up inside you.

What was said was the same. How it was said, the tone, the timing, intent and the body language, were all very different.

One fills you up with self-belief and leaves you inspired. The other fills you with self-doubt and leaves you restless.

Have you experienced this with people you meet regularly? Think about it. Mentally run through your list of friends and see if you can group them into sources and sinks. It may seem like a mildly cruel exercise. Im not saying that the drainers are necessary bad people. For some reason, at that point of time, in that situation, for you, maybe they drain your energy and leave you feeler lesser.

Well definitely don’t go tell them… ‘Hey you know what… you are a drainer.’ Won’t be fun. But, also definitely don’t go spending time and hanging out with them just before doing something crucial, like an exam or an important meeting! Pace yourself, be aware and mentally prepared, and you will find you are able to plug the leakage to a large extent.

What about the ones who re-charge you? Here are again two categories. Those who are doing more than you and yet they leave you feeling re-charged, and those who are not doing as much as you, but make you feel better about yourself. Both are beautiful. But the former are a rare species, and if you have a few such people in your life, please hold on to them dearly. Invest your time, your patience, your trust and your sincerity in those relationships. They may be friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers or bosses. Mentally make them your mentor and your go-to person. Allow them to give you feedback in their warm but honest manner. From time to time allow them to bust your ego in the gentlest of manners. If they love you, they will bust your ego every once in a while. But they will also soothe your wound and help you move to the next level quickly.

I’ve been blessed to have a few such people in my life. I will always be grateful for that.

The question I’ve been asking myself lately, is ‘am I a drainer or a charger in the live of those around me?'

What about you?

With Loads of Love and Gratitude,