Letter No 34 - The most important skill for 2022

Dear friend,

The new year has already begun. There are many video's and email floating around why we should make resolutions and even more about why we SHOULD NOT make resolutions.

Whatever be your preference, I want to tell you about a SKILL that I wish for all of us to become better at this year. Usually, when we think of skills, we usually think of things like communication, presentation, spreadsheets, accounts, graphics, etc. I want to share with a skill that I believe will be a game changer for you this year.


It is - to know how to accept reality.

Yes, this is a skill! I know hardly anyone thinks of it as a skill.

Not only is it a skill, it is a crucial skill for ambitious students, entrepreneurs, business leaders, professionals - in fact for anyone who wants to create BIG results.

Like they say in the movie 'The Matrix' - Only when you know reality, do you know how to bend it!


Life wounds us. Things often don’t go our way. We need to learn to find our way back, and that cannot happen without first accepting WHERE I AM.

Why can’t she understand me?

Why don’t people think about how others will feel?

Why am I not able to make them laugh?

Why has this article not gone viral?

Why am I still struggling?

Will I be successful and happy?

Accepting reality is the first and only step required. Everything else takes place on its own. The only thing you and I need to ‘do’ is not delude ourselves with our own lies.


Without acceptance there is no peace. Without peace inside there is no clarity. WITHOUT CLARITY NO REAL SOLUTIONS ARE POSSIBLE. Without real solutions there are only patch-ups. I am not really changing anything at the core.

Without changing the core, nothing is really changing.

Watch the video below to understand why learning to accept reality is so important for anyone who wants to be a better PROBLEM SOLVER.


Here are 5 ways to become better at accepting reality:

1 Sit and stare.

Looking outside my window, at whatever is in front me, the open sky, green leaves, brown mud, whatever. And really look. Seeing the colours, shapes, textures, and movement. This is reality. I watch it. I soak into it, and let it soak into me.

2 Close my eyes and feel.

I feel myself. I feel my breath. I feel my body. I feel my internal organs. I feel all the physics and biology that makes me. This is real stuff. Feel it fully.

3 Listening to my thoughts.

I sometimes write them down, which is what these blogs are. I see where they are coming from, what they are saying, and what words they are using. It’s best when I don’t try to find out whether they are right or wrong. They are real. I attempt to just watch them.

4 Watching my heart.

I feel my emotions. I watch what is happening to it. Is it tight? Is it fluffy? Is it light? Is it flowy? It’s interesting. I find that my heart has different states of being. I try to watch it. My heart and my emotions are real.

5 Watching my people.

This is the toughest. Because watching them creates reactions and responses in me. What are they feeling? What are they thinking? What is happening to them? This is their reality. It may be different from mine, but it is theirs. It’s best if I can just watch it without resisting it or trying to change it. It is not easy.

Give some of these a shot and let me know what happens :-)


If you'd like to explore the relevance of accepting reality in business and leadership, here is a fantastic article from Harvard Business Review


Here are a few excerpts:

"...most of the poor leadership behaviour I’ve observed has its roots in the inability to accept and work within the boundaries of what is happening, or the circumstances as they are. Unnecessarily harsh behaviour, tantrums, aggressiveness, avoidance, and shutting people out can often be traced to leaders who are doing a lousy job of handling reality in the moment."

"This situation could have gone down quite differently. The CEO and the division president could have collaborated on contingency plans for restoring the desired growth as well as expenses. But the CEO’s unwillingness to accept the reality of the situation foreclosed any meaningful discussion or potential for change."

"This doesn’t mean you have to be "good" with the results. It’s about not channeling your energy into non-stop wishing that things were different, behaving unprofessionally, or arguing about the outcome. It may even require you to examine and accept yourrole in the results."


Right now, the reality is that by the time you will be reading this letter, I will be with my family in Kanha National Park, enjoying early morning Safari's, dancing a bit with the tigers out there, and making some paintings.


I pray you find enough spacious time this year to do things you love, things that you must, and things that relax you.

Wishing you an energetic and peaceful 2022!

In friendship and with gratitude,